


What Could Have Been

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, But Leonard has a glimpse at what he could have had, Honestly nothing but angst, I'm Sorry, I'm sorry for everything, M/M, No Happy Ending for Spones, Spock is with Uhura, Spock/Nyota Uhura (Background) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:51:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8263360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: Leonard gets a gift from Spock Prime that introduced him to a life that he doesn't get to have. In return, Leonard had to deal with the feelings that come with this new information and what he's going to do about it.





	1. The Gift

  It was a quiet night for once. No Jim to barge into his room and drag his ass out of bed in favour of going to get drinks, and no Spock or Nyota to come ask him to hang out instead of hiding away like he always tried (and failed) to do. They were all too busy getting ready to go into Yorktown and have a small vacation while the ship underwent check up and necessary repairs (not that Scotty would be happy if anyone repaired his ship without him being there), and that left Leonard alone in the quiet of his room to do nothing but look at the ceiling and let his mind wonder.

  


At least, that is what he thought until a sharp knock came to the door. 

“I’m coming.” he shoved himself up off of his bed with a groan, wondering what someone had come up with as an excuse tonight that he couldn’t hide away from everyone. If it was Jim it would be impossible to get rid of him. The only hope he had of actually convincing the person to let him wallow in the darkness was if it was Nyota, which he highly doubted since she seemed to be upset for the last few days and less than inclined to do any hanging out of her own. 

  


Reaching the door, Leonard leaned over to the left side and pushed the button off to the side that allowed the door to open for guests if Leonard didn’t want them to just walk in (he had to be in a particular mood to just allow anyone to walk into his room, or it was Jim, but he would have already entered if that was the case). In front of him, he watched as the door carefully slid open to reveal a Vulcan standing there with a straight back and a small box in his hands. “Hello…” he raised an eyebrow, trying to contemplate what giant fuck up he had managed to commit in order to get a personal visit from a Vulcan who wasn’t Spock.

  


“Doctor Leonard McCoy?” the Vulcan questioned him with a raised eyebrow. Once Leonard had nodded his head to confirm that he was, in fact, that unlucky bastard who this guy was looking for, he found himself watching as the man held out his hands with the small box in this “I was asked to ensure that this made its way to your possession.”

“I don’t recall ordering anything.” Replied Leonard in a dry sarcastic tone. Though, it was the honest truth as well. He hadn’t ordered anything and there wasn’t anyone on Vulcan that he knew who would be sending him anything. Heck, he’d be surprised if Spock sent him anything.

“Spock...Prime I believe is how he is referred here, requested that I deliver this to you personally.” Leonard raised an eyebrow at that, not sure of how exactly to respond. He knew Spock Prime existed, he had seen the guy on the bridge’s screen after all. What he didn’t know was why someone he had never met before was apparently giving him something. 

  


“Ok…” He sighed in defeat, not sure of what else to do. Reaching out a hand he watched as the other man carefully put the box in his hand and took a step back before giving him the traditional Vulcan Salute.

  


“Live Long and Prosper, Doctor McCoy.” He said in a soft voice, watching as Leonard did his best imitation of the salute that he could manage before turning on his heel and making his way back down the hallway, leaving Leonard standing there in silence.

  


Glancing down at the box in his hands, Leonard sighed softly and turned around in his spot to return to his room. There was no way he was going to wait around for someone else to interrupt him before he got a chance to find out what exactly Spock Prime had decided to have hand delivered to him. 

  


Behind him he could hear the door to his room closing with a small click of metal against metal, wondering how much time he had to himself before Jim showed up to tell him that he was ready to go and they could finally disembark (yeah, he was that pathetic friend who would wait around for his best bud to finish packing instead of running off to his vacation. It’s not like he had any plans anyways).

  


Slowly, he made his way over to his bed and sat down, still holding onto the box that he had been given with careful hands. There was no telling what was inside, and he didn’t want to be the guy to break something that he received before he even got to look at it.

“Ok.” he took a deep breath and placed the box on his lap. As he looked down at the soft plane wood his mind started to wonder, trying to decipher exactly what Spock Prime deemed important for him to receive that it had to be delivered in person. It’s not like him and Spock were super close, at least not in this timeline. As for Spock Prime's timeline, well he had no idea where they stood in their friendship. 

  


With a slight shake in his hands, Leonard carefully started to lift the top of the box so that he could peek inside. When all he saw was a white piece of paper he could feel his heart speeding up. Had his alternate self pissed Spock off so much that he needed to rip into the poor bastard in the alternate timeline? Did they get into an argument that never got finished because Leonard died, and Spock Prime had decided that it must be finished and that this version of Leonard would be an acceptable recipient for his anger?

  


Leonard groaned as the thoughts in his mind went from bad to worse. Jim was right, he really shouldn’t be given time to think about anything. It always led to more anxiety and panic and if he kept this up it would come to the point that Jim would come barging into his room only to find Leonard in a puddle of worry and anxiety.

  


He really didn’t relish a repeat of that one time in academy that such a scene had happened, and the following weeks that Jim went over protective mode on him, as if Jim himself wasn’t a bundle of reckless danger.

`

Placing the lid off to the side, Leonard reached into the box and lifted the piece of paper out of it, noting the even smaller box that one would usually expect jewlery to be stashed in. Dear lord, what had his alternate self gotten into?

  


       It didn’t take much effort to unfold the paper, though it might have been easier if his hands weren't shaking so damn much, and Leonard quickly found himself looking down at a familiar style of writing that he usually only saw on reports that he had to read for Medical. It wasn’t long, but Leonard could already tell that he needed to pay careful attention to every single word or he might miss out on something important. 

  


_ Dear Leonard, _

_ I have debated for some time who the recipient of this should be, as i have noticed that this timeline has taken a very different route than my own. I do believe it would not be taken care of in my younger self's possession, since i am aware he would not understand the full value of it. _

_ Thus, i have determined that you are the only person who is appropriate to receive this gift, as it is something that i once received from you many years ago. _

_ I hope you will take care of it, as if has memories of a past that i hope will live on in some small way. _

  


_ Your Friend, _

_ Spock _

  


Leonard could feel his heart pounding inside of his chest as his eyes passed by every word. The way that Spock wrote about ‘memories’ and ‘the past’ made his stomach twist into knots at the thought of what kind of relationship they had. 

A relationship between close friends, in which they trusted each other and looked out for each other. Where Jim wasn’t the only thing that supported them even talking to each other some days.

  


Or a deeper relationship. One that Leonard didn’t think he was capable of anymore. One full of tender words and soft smiles. One that he gave up years ago when he left earth behind with a bitterness in his words and met the worst best friend ever on a shuttle to StarFleet Academy. 

  


He was thinking too much again, and he could already imagine Jim jumping onto the bed to hug him tightly when he felt the tears rolling down his face. Telling him that he was going to find someone one day and it was all going to be ok. That he wasn’t the hopeless case of ‘grumpy ass hole’ that he called himself in quiet conversation with Jim with a handy glass of whisky in his hand. 

  


Folding the paper back up, Leonard carefully tucked it away in the chest pocket of his favorite jacket. He wasn’t going to be letting that out of his sight anytime soon. Next, he took a moment to pull his sleeve down and wipe away the tears. There was no hope in trying to do anything else until he could at least see clearly.

Once he had taken a moment to get rid of the tears, Leonard glanced back down at the box that was still sitting in his lap and took a deep breath. It was better to get this over with and find out what exactly Spock Prime had sent him before he got a loud obnoxious best friend barrelling through the door (which seemed to be a constant thought on his mind. He really needed to talk to Jim about personal space and using the doorbell)

  


Lifting the small jewelry box up, Leonard turned it around in his hands carefully and took a moment to examine it. It was a small blue box, likely to hold earrings or a necklace, both things that he loved to wear. Even Leonard’s anxious and negative mind couldn’t really think of anything dangerous that Spock Prime would put in such a box, especially not after the letter that he had just read. With a deep breath he brought his other hand up and carefully started to open the box, not sure of what he was going to see, but also not prepared for what he did find.

Inside of the box, Leonard found himself looking down at a very familiar necklace. A necklace that his father had given him years ago when he got his medical degree, as a gift for not only passing but getting top marks. A necklace that Leonard was fully aware he was currently wearing around his neck.

  


His right hand reached up slowly, wrapping itself around the necklace that sat against his chest. Usually it was covered by his uniform shirt, but in his casual outfit it always sat out in the open for everyone to see. His favorite necklace and his mother's engagement ring weren’t the only things that Leonard wore out in the open, but they were easily the most important to him and he always wanted them to be out in the open for everyone to see. This wasn’t something that he would give away to just anyone. The person he gave those objects to had to be the most important creature in the entire universe. Someone that Leonard couldn’t think about living without for even a moment.

His heart shattered at the realization. As different as the two timelines were, he didn’t think there was a moment in his older selves life that such an important concept would change. Him and Spock could be the best of friends and he still wouldn’t give him his necklace or ring over grandchildren or having it buried with him. Spock had to be his lover, the closest person to his heart, in order for him to give up something so precious and close to his soul. 

  


Reaching into the small jewelry box, Leonard picked the necklace up tenderly and let it roll over into his hand. He wasn’t mistaken the first time he was it. It was absolutely the same necklace that he was wearing. Except, when he turned it over in his hand he could see one very important difference.

  


Where his necklace had nothing on the back except for maybe a few tiny scratches that he had to get fixed, the one that he had just received had been engraved. The words  _ ‘Always your illogical human’ _ burned under his finger, leaving a permanent scar on his heart as he read them out loud to himself. 

“Green-blooded…” His throat tightened, unable to release an onslaught of unkind words or insults that he usually hurled at Spock. How could he say such things when he was holding solid proof that there was a universe, a reality, where he wasn’t alone. Where he actually made something work well enough and for long enough that he gave that person one of his most dear possessions. 

How could he expect himself to say something like that ever again when he knew the reality that he would never have. The reality he would kill for, but not at the expense of Nyota’s heart. Not at the expense of his friendship with her. Not if it meant having to see the hurt on her face.

  


No, this wasn’t his reality. It wasn’t his dream to have. Instead, it was a past memory savoured in an old necklace that he would tuck away somewhere safe and do his best to forget about. Better to forget about something so painful than to try and suffer with that reality everyday.

  


Reaching up towards his chest pocket, Leonard let the necklace fall in beside the note that had come with it. He would find a safe place for it later, when he didn’t have to worry about anyone barging into his room without notice or at least when he had a night to himself. 

  


Almost as soon as the necklace had dropped into his pocket, Leonard heard the doors to his room sliding open and an excited exclamation of “Bones!” ringing out through the room. He glanced up quickly, blinking back the tears that had made a hasty return to his eyes. “Bones?”

In front of him, Leonard watched as Jim dropped his hands down to his side and tilted his head, trying to determine what had upset his best friend so much in his absence. “Bones…” this time the nickname came out with a soft promise, and Leonard quickly found himself being bundled up into Jim’s arms for a strong hug. Usually he would huff in annoyance and try to push the other man away, but this time Leonard could feel his entire body relaxing into the hug. Jim’s personal promise to protect him from whatever had upset him so much. If only he knew, he’d probably threaten to kick Spock in the shins for something he hadn’t even done. 

  



	2. The Replacment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the battle, Leonard returns to Yorktown and takes a chance to rest and relax for a bit.

Falling back against his bed in Yorktown, Leonard let out a pained groan as his bones adjusted to the comfortable mattress after having spent a few days on nothing but hard stone and metal. If Leonard was a sensible person, he would have slept on the franklin and given himself a chance to adjust to being comfortable again, but instead he had made himself busy with ensuring that everyone was safe and healthy after what had happened.

 

He knew he didn’t have much time to himself, since he had already promised Jim that he would do something other than hide away in the room that he had been assigned at yorktown the first time that they had come in. He also had to direct Jim to the surprise birthday party for him that everyone else was setting up. So long as he was alone, however, Leonard was going to use that time to relax and try and enjoy some form of comfort that he had been deprived of in the last few days.

Without a thought, he reached up to put a hand over the necklace that he wore under his uniform, jolting to his feet and pulling his shirt collar down without a thought when he didn’t feel the necklace.

His face paled when instead of the soft blue necklace that his dad had given him, Leonard instead saw nothing. An empty space where one of his most prized possessions sat against his chest.

 

“Fuck!” he cursed out loud, slamming his hand down against the bed in anger. He should have noticed earlier that the necklace was gone. Should have given himself a chance to at least find it. Now, well now he had no idea where it could be. He could have lost it on the ship when the attacks first started, or on the god forsaken planet when he was busy trying to make sure Spock didn’t die under his watch, or when they were on that crappy ship that Leonard had to pilot while Spock fiddled with the computer screen. “Shit...damn it…” he flopped back against the bed and reached up to grab one of the pillows so that he could pull it down over top of his face and scream into it. 

After a few minutes, Leonard let the pillow fall off to the side of the bed and just stared up at the ceiling while tears ran down his face. This wasn’t something that he thought he could lose. It held so much meaning to him, both because it was from his father and because he knew he’d never get anything from his father again. He knew it was a one of a kind gift, and like an idiot he had lost it. 

 

Turning his head to the side, Bones groaned softly when he saw his civilian clothing hanging over the handle of his dresser. He had left it here because he knew that the room would still be there for him when he got back, and he hadn’t looked forward to the possibility of dropping the other necklace somewhere Spock could see it.

 

He snapped up in the bed at that thought, His eyes still glued on his favorite outfit. The other Necklace. The one that he had forgotten about almost as soon as shit had gone down on the enterprise. The one that Spock Prime had sent to him.

 

Slowly, he moved off of the bed and made his way over to the dresser. He could already feeling his hands shaking at the thought of wearing that necklace instead of tucking it away somewhere safe. Of having it around his neck at all times instead of hidden in a sock drawer away from prying eyes. A necklace that held the knowledge of a reality that Leonard would never have, but one that he had to have around his neck because he couldn’t imagine going through life without his father's gift close by.

 

Once he found himself standing in front of the dresser, Leonard reached out slowly and dug his hand into the front pocket. He carefully avoided the note that he had left there as well, and instead focused on pulling the necklace out and letting it hang down over his hand so that he could see it. 

 

The familiar blue stone sparkled a little when the light hit it, and Leonard could feel a smile pulling at his lips when memories of his father immediately started to flood his mind. It didn’t last long, however, as memories of a life that could have been also joined into the mix.

Leonard didn’t know whether to feel happy, angry or to keep crying. Everything was mixed up in his head, confusing him more than usual as he gripped the chain of the necklace in his hand. A part of his brain told him to throw the necklace into the darkest corner of his desk on the new ship and forget about it. Save himself from all of the ‘could haves’ and ‘almost had’. 

 

But the other part, the much louder part of his brain, held a constant mantra of “do it” over and over again. Wear it. Hold it close. Keep it. Don’t forget. It wasn’t something that Leonard could ignore easily, and before he could even contemplate what was going on, he felt the new Necklace drop down against his chest the same way the old one did.

 

“Shit…” He whispered under his breath, wrapping his left hand over his right in a poor attempt to stop them both from shaking so damn much. 


	3. Keepsake

Peering down at the necklace that he had found on the small ship that him and Leonard had confiscated during their adventures, Spock contemplated how best to approach the other man. Usually he would have returned the necklace to Leonard as soon as possible, but the other man had made a run for it as soon as they had landed in york town and Spock hadn’t seen him since.

The necklace interested him. It was like a piece of Leonard that few got to hold and even fewer got a chance to understand. He had seen the necklace before, most notably when Leonard was in civilian clothing and that one time that he had punched out an ensign for calling the captain a ‘slut’ in front of him (a move that earned Leonard a week’s worth of confinement to his room and work, and respect from Jim, Nyota and Sulu for standing up for his friend). It was something that he was well aware that Leonard held dear to him, though he still did not know why. He didn’t think that the doctor would do well without the necklace in his possession for long, and the crew really did not need to see an angrier side the usually gruff and annoyed Chief Medical Officer.

“You look like you’re doing some thinking.” He raised an eyebrow at the comment and slowly turned his attention towards Nyota. “What’s on your mind.”

“It is nothing.” he assured her, tucking the necklace away in his pants pocket for later and picking up his glass from the table that he had been drinking from while they waited for Leonard and Jim to make their arrival. Glancing over at Nyota, he watched as she examined his face for a moment before giving her head a shake and settling in beside him, ignoring the way that his free hand carefully moved to her hip and held eye contact with her for just a moment before the door opened to admit Leonard and Jim.

Everyone around him erupted into cheer at the arrival of the birthday boy, and Spock quickly raised his glass alongside Nyota when he noticed the movement of her hand. In front of them, he watched as Jim looked at the group with bright eyes and a smile, while Leonard stood beside him with one of those rare smiles that no one saw a lot of. The next thing to catch Spock’s eye, was the necklace around Leonard’s neck.

The same necklace that he had tucked away in his pant pockets, as if Leonard had never lost the thing.

“Fascinating.” he whispered to himself, glancing over at Nyota when she looked back at him in response. Giving his head a shake, he removed his hand from her hip so that she could move easily with the others, letting his fingers linger for a moment as she reached down and ran two of her fingers down his own in the customary Vulcan symbol of love.

His lips twisted up into a soft smile at the gesture, and he quickly returned it before allowing her to move so that she could mingle with everyone else.

From the corner of his eye, Spock found his attention being drawn back towards the necklace around Leonard’s neck. It was an exact replica of the one that he had found, but Spock could not figure out a reason as to why Leonard would have two of them. He was aware of Leonard’s fondness for Jewelry. A fondness that often led to him forgetting to take off his earrings when he went into the medical bay in full uniform for work, and resulted in him rushing into his office in order to remove them before someone who would actually report him came in to see the non-regulation objects on his person. 

However, that fondness had never before led to Leonard having more than one version of his necklace or his ring, both of which Spock had noted long ago that Leonard wore no matter what he was doing. So seeing one currently sitting around his neck while Spock was fully aware of the weight of the original in his pants pocket was...perplexing at best.

For the time being, though, he put the matter to the side. He had time to make up to Nyota for his mistakes and he intended to make as much of it as he could.

It wasn’t for another half hour that Spock saw Leonard again. He had noticed the man relegating himself to one side of the room while Jim made the rounds and chatted with his other friends, something that Spock had gotten used to long ago when it came to Leonard. Crowds were not his favorite place to be, and he would do anything in his power to avoid them as long as possible.

When he did spot him again, Leonard was making his way past with a glass of whisky in hand while Spock made conversation with Nyota. The first thing that Spock noticed, is the way that Leonard’s eyes snapped down to Nyota’s necklace while she played with it in her hands. For a moment, he feared that Leonard would tell her about the tracker before he got a chance to explain himself logically to her and settle the matters between romantic partners. Instead, he saw a hint of hurt in Leonard’s eyes before they travelled up to meet Spock’s and immediately switched to a look of judgment while Leonard raised one eyebrow and started to walk away.

As it all happened, Spock found himself sneaking a peek down at the necklace currently around Leonard’s neck in order to confirm that he was no mistaken about the similarities with the one in his pocket. He was a little, put out is how Jim would phrase it, when he realized that he was in fact correct. The necklace was similar in every way that he could see and it perplexed him. Leonard did not seem the type to wear a necklace all the time if he could easily replace it. In fact, from looking at the other man’s room once while going to wake him up from his shift when he was late, Spock had noticed that Leonard kept almost nothing personal.

Where Nyota’s room had pictures of her friends and family, or Jim’s had gifts from various planets that he had received from the people they met, and how Sulu had plants all around his room along with pictures of his family, Leonard had nothing. There were no pictures, or gifts, or hobbies. His room was more like a place to sleep and escape as quickly as possible, which was even worse than Spock’s which at least had one picture of his parents and one of Nyota.

Leonard was a guarded man who did not wish to share his life story, even with those closest to him. So there was no universe in which Spock could imagine him wearing the same necklace everyday, but also having an easy replacement for it in case it was lost. He had always thought the necklace was one of few things that held a deep meaning to Leonard that he was not ready to divulge to anyone else. 

  
It seemed that he still had much to learn about the Chief Medical officer. Until then, however, he would keep the necklace safe in case Leonard ever needed. There was no use in tossing it out when he did not know its true value to the other man and Nyota would most likely scold him for even thinking of doing such a thing. In fact, she would probably scold him for not returning the necklace to Leonard as soon as possible, even in the current circumstances.


	4. Whispered Words and Secret Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard asks for a dance with Nyota and makes a decision

Holding Nyota’s hands in his, Spock made his way awkwardly through the dance floor as he attempted to follow the beat of the music while also trying his best not to step on Nyota’s feet. It had been six years since they got together, and there was really no reason why Spock should not be able to dance with his girlfriend without injuring her at this point.

Unfortunately, he was still a failure at dancing apparently.

“Mind if i cut in?” The voice interrupted Spock’s train of thought, pulling his attention up to Leonard as he stopped beside the two and held out a hand towards Nyota “i believe she could use with a dancing partner who won’t kill her.”

Spock would be more insulted by Leonard’s jab if he wasn’t also split between still wondering about the necklace that he was wearing, and worrying about what Leonard might say if he was given the chance to dance with Nyota.

“Of course you can cut in.” He glanced over at Nyota with wide eyes. She didn’t often allow anyone to interrupt their personal time. “Go hang out with the Captain while we dance. I promise, we’ll both come back alive.’

Doing as he was told, Spock reached out and held out two fingers, waiting for Nyota to meet his gesture and touch her fingers against his gently before giving Leonard a small bow of his head and heading off to find the captain.

“Protective.” chuckled Leonard, his eyes following Spock as he walked away from them. 

“He gets like that sometimes.” Confirmed Nyota. Turning to look at her, Leonard smiled fondly and held out his hand for her to take, which she took advantage of immediately and used to pull him close. “I’m leading this time.”

“I have no problem with that.” He chuckled, following her into the rhythm easily and letting her lead him into the slow movement of the song that was currently playing. 

For the next few minutes the two of them did nothing but dance. Behind him, Leonard could feel Spock’s eyes burrowing into the back of his neck, judging every move that he made with Nyota to ensure that he wasn’t trying to steal his girlfriend. As if Leonard was the kind of person to get between two people so obviously in love.

If he was that kind of person, it would be Nyota who would need to worry. But that wasn’t Leonard’s game. He was happy to see two people he cared about in love with each other, even if that meant he wouldn’t get a shot at some sort of happiness himself. Heck, he had gotten used to being miserable.

“I know i’m not the best at dancing, but i don’t think it’s so bad that you need to cry.’ His eyes snapped over to Nyota when he heard her comment. Instead of meeting a sly smirk and judgment that he expected, Leonard found himself faced with a kind smile and a hand reaching up to clear away the tears that were running down his face. “Something must be really bugging you if you’re showing emotions that don’t fall under ‘anger’ and ‘annoyance’ in a room fall of people.”

“Just thinking of life.” He smiled in a poor attempt to forget about what had just happened. 

“Most people think about the happy things that life has to offer us.” as she spoke, Nyota continued to lead Leonard through the room in their dance. “The cheer, adventure, love, friendships…”

Each word that left her mouth drew Leonard in deeper, and slowly the room around him started to disappear and his shoulders began to relax. It took a special sort of friend to make him calm down in a crowded room, and he had always been glad that he had found that friend in Nyota among a ship full of reckless and loud people. 

Finally, he found the words that had gotten stuck in his throat and managed to push them up until they left his mouth. “Most people deserve those things.” He said softly, taking over for a moment so that he could move the both of them to the side instead of continuing on a clash course with Hikaru and his husband. 

“Most people includes you.” He smiled at her tender words, letting her take control of the dance again as her eyes slid down and took in the necklace that he had on “Does it have something to do with the necklace? Because that’s not your normal one.’

“How could you possible…” she reached up with her left hand as he spoke and took hold of the necklace. Running her finger over the blue stone in the middle, he watched as a smile pulled her her lips as she turned it over in her hand and read the back.

“It’s more worn out than the other one.” she explained as her fingers traced the engraved words on the back “as if it has been on a planet full of sand and heat and hasn’t been cleaned in quite a while.”

“I think the person who had it last was a little busy to take proper care of it.” he said softly, reaching up to put a hand over hers and blocking the words from her sight even though he knew that she had already read and processed them. “I also know for a fact that this is something from another time. We have a life ahead of us full of...death, disease and that adventure you’re seeking. A life that’s very different than the one that this necklace has been though. I think it’s only right to live our lives the way we want to, instead of focusing on what could have been.”

“You don’t enjoy the thought of...what could have been?” he could see the fear behind her eyes. Eyes that wanted to tell him that she was confident in her relationship and that he could never get in the middle of it, but also wanted him to say that he didn’t want to try and get in the middle.

“What could have been is a flower that doesn’t get to bloom in our time line. A flower that someone else picked and left in their vase until it grew old and died. But also a flower that was adored, loved and respected.” He said softly, running his fingers over her hand gently as he spoke so that he could concentrate his eyes on anything but Nyota “besides, I’ll always be someone's ‘Illogical human’.” Chuckling, Nyota let her head fall forward against his chest and smiled when he stopped dancing in favor of wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into a strong hug. Leonard McCoy was one of the angriest and most easily annoyed men that she had ever met, but he was also a man full of kindness, even at the expense of his own happiness. She didn’t know how he kept going with all that he sacrificed, but she appreciated that she didn’t have to worry about him trying to break up a relationship that she had put so much effort and struggle into for the past six years. 

“Go back to your boyfriend.” he spoke after a moment of silence, allowing himself to turn his head and press a tender kiss to the side of her forehead “I’m sure he’s worried i’m telling you all sorts of dirty secrets.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely the gossiping type.” she said sarcastically, leaning in and kissing his cheek before carefully pulling away from his hug. “Thank you for the dance.”

“Well, if you ever get bored of Spock stepping on your toes, you know where to find me.” She chuckled at the comment, and for just a second she let her eyes travel back down to the necklace that he was wearing. 

Without a thought, she reached out and put a hand over the necklace, ignoring the way that Leonard’s entire body froze under the touch. “Take care of this.” she said softly “It’s full of a history that should never be forgotten, even if things have changed.”

“I’ll do the best i can ma’am.” promised Leonard, his eyes on hers as she watched her hand for a second longer before letting it drop to the side. “And take care of the reckless asshole you call a boyfriend.”

Nyota threw her head back with a laugh, causing everyone in the room to turn their attention to her and Leonard with a look of wonder. It wasn’t often that the gruff Doctor made someone laugh so loud (unless of course it was Jim, but it wasn’t hard to make him laugh). “I’ll keep you updated on my attempts to do that.” She promised, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder as she made her way past him.

Standing there in silence, Leonard watched as Nyota walked over to Spock gracefully and took hold of his arm as soon as she was close enough. His eyes stayed glued on the two of them, watching as Spock brought a hand up to run his fingers through Nyota’s hair while they spoke whispered words to each other.

“Do i have to hug you again.” he turned to look at Jim with wide eyes, finally registering that there were tears running down his face yet again. Apparently this week was one for a lot of crying on Leonard’s part. “I will hug you again. and then i'll beat up whoever keeps making you cry."

‘I’ll forego the hug and take a whisky instead.” he smiled in response to the worried look on Jim’s face. Stepping forward, he tossed an arm around Jim’s shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug “in fact, i’ll get us both a drink. I think we could use it.”

“There’s my Bones.” he chuckled at the nickname. Something that he had hated the first time that Jim used it, but that had grown on him over time. “To the whisky!”

  
“To the whisky.” he gave himself one last glance back at Nyota and Spock and smiled when he noticed that Nyota was also looking back at him. He had no doubt that she would keep his secret, and in return he would keep Spock’s secret and give him a chance to explain himself. At least, for now. If the sly bastard took more than a week than he would definitely have to take matters into his own hands and see how much hell broke loose before the two of them went back to kissing and saying sweet words to each other. 


End file.
